Ode to a Weary Stuntman


Waiting in the cable car

Eager to ski

Wishing that beforehand

I had done a pee


Alastair showed us

The route to take

I started off down it

Beginning to ache


We arrived at a red run

"Let's go down it" I said

So off went Sean and co.

Whilst Alastair fled


I made it to the bottom

'No Sweat', I thought

It was a wonderful feeling

Fulfilling the danger I sought


Ski-ing down a green run

'L'Escargot' it's name

Going very slowly till

Upon a red run we came


I'll do that easily 'cause

I've done it before

The excitement of danger

Growing more and more


We went bombing down it

Like bats out of hell

But I was not traversing

They all would yell


I suddenly realised what I had done

And started to parallel stop

But, too late, I was gone

Over the Escargot and down a great drop


I lay there for seconds

Mildly concussed

Then Alastair and teachers arrived

Kicking up a great fuss


My legs were askew

Every movement making pain worse

I saw something coming uphill

That reminded me of a hearse


The blood wagon soon arrived

'Groovy' I thought

But the pain of getting onto it

Made we wish the danger had not been sought


February 1988